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Jagjit Singh: Ye daulat bhi lelo, ye shaurat bhi lelo, ye daulat bhi lelo, ye shaurat bhi lelo.
Santa: Ye bechara bahut pareshan hai iski aurat bhi lelo

Boy: I love you
Girl: But I love someone else
Boy: Ok, no problem. Your happiness is more important for me than your love
Moral: Jaha kuch nahi kar sakte waha dialogue to achha chipka hi do

Aishwairya rai to rajnikant: Ek chutki sindoor ki kimat tum kya jaano rajni babu???
Rajnikant: 0.000000078650000123478956 rupees. MIND IT!!!

Malik: Tum bathroom me kyu ghus aaye, kya tumhe pata nahi tha ki mai naha raha hoon?
Naukar: Hazur galti ho gayi, mai samjha tha begum sahiba hai.

Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter me gir gaye the.
Banta: Kya bataoo, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle,
aur woh teeno kambhakt pite nahi.

Attitude statement of the decade by Rajnikant: He got 150 questions in exam saying SOLVE ANY 100!
He solved all 150 and wrote: RASCALLA! CHECK ANY 100!

Jeeto & Preeto were talking about their new milkman.
Jeeto: He's very good looking, punctual & dresses so smartly.
Preeto: ...And quickly too!

Santa: Do you know about this fax-machine?
Banta: What's wrong?
Santa: I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a blank page. I tried it again, but..
Banta: How did you load the sheet?
Santa: I didn't want anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded it.

Bahu ke ghar aane pe saas ne kaha: Beti, aaj se mujhe Maa aur apne sasur ko Papa kehna.
Sham ko pati ke aane par biwi boli: Maa bhaiya aa gaye.